Can we change another person’s behaviour?
We can make them aware of their behaviour and make a
polite request for them to change. When they don’t make
the necessary changes, accept that you can’t change others.
The only person you can change is yourself. Adapt, be flexible, and adjust your expectations to accommodate their behaviour.
When there is change in yourself, you can become a catalyst for changes in those around you, but don’t expect others’ to change.
Many times people report the feeling of divine help and strength when they come close to breaking point. Actually divine help is always there, but we are usually so busy doing things in our own little way that we only look for it when we face absolute defeat. The tranquil nature of enlightened souls comes from their ability to take God’s help constantly. A state of true surrender will lead to feeling of victory in everything we do.
Different Shades Of Attachment To Opinions And Ideas
Very often in a group or team, whether social or official, while moving towards a common goal or objective or purpose, different people in the group or gathering give their opinion to make the objective of the team possible. While giving their opinion, one very commonly sees two different categories of people. The first category contains type of people who are attached to their ideas (to different extents) while presenting them to the group and the other contains type of people who are extremely active, positive and authoritative in giving their ideas, when they are required to do so, but are able to keep a relationship of detachment with their ideas.
If someone is attached to his/her idea and it is not accepted, he/she might react emotionally (internally) or even physically (externally). He/she:
* might even start creating disharmony in the group by talking against or creating ill-feelings for the person who objected to his idea or
* might stop co-operating with the remaining members of the group or
* sometimes may just disassociate or distance himself/herself from the group, which is a quiet way of non co-operation and can cause ripples of negative thoughts and feelings in the others.
These and others are some of the common reactions of someone whose idea/ideas are not accepted.
So the right balance of authority (while giving the idea) and humility (while accepting the result of the idea, the result could be rejection or even acceptance of the idea) has to be maintained. Humility comes very naturally to someone who is detached to his/her idea.
Playing My Part As A Hero Actor
In yesterday’s message we had discussed how we possess the potential in our hands to write the scripts of our lives, our destinies. Some of us do not like this idea because we have been taught since we were small that life is all about luck, but this incorrect belief does not let us realize the immense internal power or potential that we possess of shaping up our destiny, our future. By resigning ourselves to a life of luck, we do not use our potential and conveniently avoid doing the inner work of becoming awake and aware of who we are as spiritual beings and the masters of our own destiny. This is why waking up from the sleep of this wrong belief is the first step towards empowering ourselves, towards taking responsibility for our life, for our present, our future.
Also there are some of us who hold the belief that the course taken by each one of our lives is not written by luck but is decided by God, so it is egoistic on our part if we believe that we can write our own scripts, interfering with the plan that God has in his mind for us. So in times of challenges in our lives, although its not wrong to pray to God at those times, we commonly use words like ‘if God would like it, I shall overcome this obstacle or I will be successful in this particular task or my health will get okay or I will pass this exam etc.’ In times of happiness, although it’s not wrong to thank God at those times, we completely submit ourselves to God’s will, thinking that it is he and he alone responsible for what good that is happening in my life. In the case of the sorrow we forget that although God can help us to some extent, whether we will surpass the sorrow or not is very largely dependent on our past actions which are influencing the present situation. In the case of the happiness, we forget that though God’s blessings do help and work, our past actions are a very important dominant factor which is creating situations of positivity in our present lives.
Message for the day
The one who is victorious never withdraws till victory is attained.
In Spiritual Service,